Today I was preparing breakfast, I was asked if I wanted to be part of a visit. It tipped the scale rather quickly. The only question I cared about really was did I cause something to cause this? I tend to look inwardly most times, I've learnt that from Shaykh Hamza Yusuf in one of his very beneficial lectures about understand the self. I think I might've said things that caused that must misperception, only because it was an imperfect communication between multiple parties involved the day before.

But I think the most disappointing thing was to have other problems that was kept and accumulated and have it thrown at me when things like this happen. All of a sudden, it became about I was never a supportive person of having Saturdays cut down to half.

I accepted that my life isn't perfect, and that these are all the compromise I'm making for the sake of others. And that I am not an articulate person when I'm put on the spot. I often need to retreat to gathery thoughts and have it written down. But at least I know that about myself. 

As unsettling as it is, whenever I think of my Lord, the storm recedes. He knows the difficulties, and the suffering in silence. Having to grow up with none of this experience, makes it hard as a man. The world has really changed the very fabric of the little things that make up the institution of family. And a big part of that fabric is the role of women in family institutions. But society has changed it to a way that invalidates everything that were taught through Islamic traditions. And when it's brought up, we will be told it's because we are backward thinking and that women should be treated as equals. Truth is, that's a very flawed concept. 

Men and women aren't equals. Because women are special in ways that men will never be. 

Our mothers were gems, for being loyal, and investing in our fathers, and children. Women like these don't exist much anymore. When good things and people cease to exist, it's because it belongs to Allah, and they have returned.